All Full Of Stars (AKA: My Fic)

Topic: From Prussia With Love

Users: @Alexander @Graham @SuzyQ

irc.simpworks.com

[Lisabella]

Okay, just announcing I, too, am throwing my hat into the ring this year - that's my working title.  Fic should be out before US Thanksgiving.

[Lisabella]

Phew!  As stated below, first fourth is finished, and will complete another fourth today with luck and the rest this weekend.  Will send to beta by the end of the week and, with any sort of luck, have the finished version posted here by next Wed.

[Lisabella]

And here is the first draft.  Sent off to Dave for beta and will have a final project posted on Wednesday.

[Lisabella]

I failed at getting a beta for this, so I hand-edited the puppy. Guess it's good to go now.

USED:

Beginnings:
Leela  is sitting in the kitchen, talking to the devil
The Professor invents something useful
Aliens Attack!

Middles:
A small incident explodes into something world-shaking

Ends:
Leela is left holding the baby

[A Spy in Mancunia]

Typo: "draws" should be "drawers"

Touching and downbeat without being depressing, with good performances by all the characters, and generally feels 100% like the show. I hardly need to point out that it's well-written, though it feels a bit verbose in places, particularly around the start. I enjoyed seeing the Robot Devil again. He shines in this story. The ending is awesome.

More specific comments:

Spoiler (hover to show)

Fry confessing his love for Leela felt uncreative - how many times has he done that by now? I was truly touched when he gave his reason for taking the blame, though. It's also nice that you didn't have Leela being overly antagonistic towards Fry, the way she's usually depicted in plots (canonical and fanfic) centred on his love for her.

I feel happy for reading this.

And now there are no more to read! Onward, judges!

[Lisabella]

Pleah, I knew I'd miss something    Thanks so much, Chris!  I was wondering if I was headed too much in the direction of melodrama, I'm glad it didn't. 

Spoiler (hover to show)

 I figured love - romantic and friendly, since Leela's one of Fry's truest friends - would be the most logical motivating factor for Fry ultimately covering for the Professor.  I hope this one came off as less 'shippy - I was going for echoes of the 'ship but not pulling foccus on it.  Leela's decision was more "the lives of everyone on Earth versus half her personal freedom."

I'm pleased you like this one - I've still got about three more fics to read this weekend before tossing in my thoughts on them later. 

[Shockwave]

Nicely written story (And I have to say, I like verbose ) with good solid characterisations, several unique ideas and top notch characterisation, nice emotional moments, with a good smattering of humour throughout. The rest I'll put in...

Spoiler (hover to show)

I have to wonder how The Robot Devil actually had the power to grant Leela's wish? Not that I'm saying he really couldn't, but he always came across to me in the show as being... well... not quite as capable as you'd think.

I also can't help but feel that this would be better suited as a greater story without limitations on length, which I suppose is really its only real weakness. The first half felt really well paced, but the latter half felt a little rushed, which didn't necessarily kill the emotion, but did deal it a few blows. I'd like to see you actually modify this and add to it, fleshing it out to be a more, I suppose, complete story. That's up to you of course, but I could see this as being really something spectacular if it were, say... about 5 to 6 times bigger.

[Lisabella]

Thanks, Kif!

Spoiler (hover to show)

It did indeed start out as a much longer piece, which I trimmed down to meet requirements.

I was wondering if I maybe put too much weight on RD's character.  I considering incorporating a human devil into the story, but I thought it might make things too fanciful.

Glad it was enjoyed!

[Archonix]

Nah, the Robot Devil was fine. It makes me wonder, actually, if there would have been more antagonism between RD and Leela in a longer-running series.