Review "Big Bang Law"

Futurama and The Simpsons fan fiction have been the staple of the Simpsons and Futurama Fanworks Central since its inception.
Forum rules
Things to remember when posting:
  • If you want a review please place REVIEW: at the start of the topic line
  • There may be some time between you posting and people replying, as our members do their utmost to read through a fic before telling you want they think
  • Reviews must be made with good grace and politeness. "It sucks" isn't a review.
  • Finally, please try to stay on topic. :)
User avatar
Gulliver63
Sub-sector Control Officer's Assistant
Sub-sector Control Officer's Assistant
 
Posts: 1304
Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:21 pm
Location: Indianapolis

Review "Big Bang Law"

Postby Gulliver63 » Fri Jul 06, 2012 1:10 am

First off, I'd like to dedicate this story to my wife Nancy, who made me a fan of "Big Bang Theory." The plot is probably not the most original thing in the world, but it's a story mostly designed for the humorous gags. I just wondered what it would be like to get these two gangs of characters together in one story. One of the challenges was that there are so many characters on both ends to squeeze in. I did enjoy sneaking a couple of bits from Morbo in - I don't know if I've ever mentioned him before. Another tidbit is some Chinese Amy blurts out...shen jing bing is the equivalent of calling someone a mental case. Again, no serious life-changing stuff here...mostly a chuckle or two. Enjoy!
Attachments
Big Bang Law.doc
(60.5 KiB) Downloaded 5694 times
BBL small_by_Gulliver63.jpg
"I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says: 'Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have - When he gives everything that is in him to do the job he has before him. That is all you can ask of him and that is what I have tried to do."
Harry S Truman

User avatar
Lisabella
Sub-sector Control Officer
Sub-sector Control Officer
 
Posts: 1675
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 1:04 am

Re: Review "Big Bang Law"

Postby Lisabella » Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:11 am

*Downloading for review later in the week!*
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"

User avatar
Lisabella
Sub-sector Control Officer
Sub-sector Control Officer
 
Posts: 1675
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 1:04 am

Re: Review "Big Bang Law"

Postby Lisabella » Sat Jul 14, 2012 10:57 pm

The plot's pretty adorable, honestly.

Spoiler


Also:

Spoiler


I liked Leela's interaction with Sheldon; it was very affectionate and motherly. I liked Sheldon's stiffed-necked autocracy. You get both sets of characters well.

Spoiler


Good fun all around, and you have a special affinity for Sheldon.

Letter Grade: A
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"

User avatar
Gulliver63
Sub-sector Control Officer's Assistant
Sub-sector Control Officer's Assistant
 
Posts: 1304
Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:21 pm
Location: Indianapolis

Re: Review "Big Bang Law"

Postby Gulliver63 » Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:27 pm

Thanks! One has to admit that this is pretty much a gag-driven story. This was pretty much the most fun I've had writing a story. I think my favorite part is
Spoiler
I liked cruising into the ending where everyone seems to get their just deserts. As a side note, I did a bit of study on the internet to find out about how jury duty actually worked; I've been sent the letters, but never actually had to do it. Wiki was where I stumbled across how jury duty worked in ancient Greece, perfect fodder for Sheldon's rant. My work associate Robert Stewart gave me the idea for what was wrong with the taxi cab engine, which worked better than what I came up with. I chose Griffith Observatory for the landing site because it sits in a fairly wooded area and is reasonably close to Pasadena; While I've been to LA a few times, I've never actually seen this place except in tv episodes.
"I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says: 'Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have - When he gives everything that is in him to do the job he has before him. That is all you can ask of him and that is what I have tried to do."
Harry S Truman

User avatar
Just Chris
Lickspittle
Lickspittle
Thin White Prefect
 
Posts: 8961
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2001 2:00 pm
Location: Straight outta Smedby
Custom Title: Thin White Prefect

Re: Review "Big Bang Law"

Postby Just Chris » Sat Aug 11, 2012 10:02 pm

Typoes: "before heading out to the hanger" should be "hangar"; "'Who would you be?' asked the attorney barked."; "you're friends" should be "your".

Also, not a technical mistake, but "she stared at him with her eye" is a bit silly. It's kind of appropriate in the context, but there are other ways to draw attention to her single eye.

Full disclosure: I've never watched Big Bang Theory. Still, I had no problems following this story, so that's a good sign.

I enjoyed this quite a bit. The reason for the crew to go back in time is good, if not particularly original, but
Spoiler
All the Futurama characters seem to be in character, though no-one really stands out, and the Big Bang Theory characters are characterised clearly enough that I soon got a hang of their personalities. Callagorxis is a pretty good original character.

Writing is good, if a bit dialogue-heavy in places. Your descriptions are quite short, but get the job done.

The plot is simple, but fun. The resolution of the quest is what really lifted it for me, though I think it would have been even funnier if
Spoiler
The very ending is funny. I wouldn't have minded if it had ended on the train scene, but the scene with Morgan is fun too. The scene with Leonard turning off the computer at the end felt quite emotional, which isn't a bad job given that I don't know any of the characters involved.

The comedy is the best part of this fic, with the characters from both shows getting plenty of great lines. The funniest parts were Morbo's lines and the repeated "Neil Armstrong" joke.

I don't have any real problems with this story. I didn't really suffer from my lack of familiarity with Big Bang Theory, except in one case: during the scene where they all meet up with Sheldon and his friends, you don't really specify which characters are there, and thus it took a while for me to realise how many characters were actually coming with them on the ship. I did have a bit of a problem with the Planet Express people deciding to stay for a game of Monopoly: sure, they're time-travelling, so it's not like they're on a deadline, but I still feel that they should be more keen to get the whole thing over with. Apart from that, the story felt a little bland and unmemorable in places, but again, it might have appealed more to me if I'd known the characters.

All in all, I think I'll dispense with a letter score this time, since I don't know Big Bang Theory. However, this is a nicely written story with some very good jokes, and a funny resolution. Recommended.

EDIT: Also, references to ancient Greece are the way to win me over.
Last edited by Just Chris on Thu Jan 09, 2014 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
You've been here before
You know what's in store
Mankind is obsolete;
History will repeat.


- The Megas, "Make Your Choice"

Will now accept writing commissions! See here for my price list and other information.

<-- avatar by May (it's David Bowie!)

User avatar
Gulliver63
Sub-sector Control Officer's Assistant
Sub-sector Control Officer's Assistant
 
Posts: 1304
Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:21 pm
Location: Indianapolis

Re: Review "Big Bang Law"

Postby Gulliver63 » Sat Aug 11, 2012 11:15 pm

Thanks! The Greek reference to the way they did their trial jury was just something I stumbled across in Wiki as I was studying jury trials; it was just the kind of thing they would have had Sheldon blather out in the show, and no one around him would have gotten. Glad you enjoyed it.
"I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says: 'Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have - When he gives everything that is in him to do the job he has before him. That is all you can ask of him and that is what I have tried to do."
Harry S Truman


Return to Completed Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron