This sounds like an interesting idea! I like the title (the final "E" is a little bit cheesy, but it still works). The design for Chén looks great, too.
Moving on to the story.
Typo: you "pore" over a document, not "pour".
Apart from that, I like this. It manages to transmit quite a lot of detail about the world in a short time, and without being info-dumpy. I got quite a good feel for the characters, and I quite like Geraghty, despite his racism. It's a bit dialogue-heavy, but that works for this kind of scene. Definitely seems like it could make an interesting novel.
June, she'll change her tune.
In restless walks she'll prowl the night.
July, she will fly,
And give no warning to her flight.
- Simon & Garfunkel, "April, Come She Will"
Rest in peace Terry Pratchett, 1948-2015.
Will now accept writing commissions! See here
for price rates and other information.